Category Archives: About Me
Last week, Vera, a long-time follower of mine and a wonderful blogger, recommended that I read a blog post from A Holistic Journey titled Praise, Smarts, and the Myth of Self-Esteem. As the title suggests, the article discusses the theory and the author’s belief that it is more effective to praise a student’s efforts as opposed to their smarts.
Before I tell you my opinion about this theory, I will share a bit of my background in education. Before I even started school, my mother made sure I was well prepared…very well prepared. Before I even started kindergarten, I knew how to read, write, and spell at a level well above kids my age. When I was not in school, I studied and read, and I read and studied.
In middle school, my mother did set a standard for grades: I was to get As and some Bs. Did this stress me out? No. Because ingrained in me was something very important: if you work hard, your efforts will be rewarded. So each time my mother read my straight A report card, she would say “keep it up,” or “if you keep it up, maybe you’ll get a scholarship.” It was not “keep being smart” or “if you stay as smart as you are now, you’ll get a scholarship.” Because the concept of hard work was ingrained in me, I believed I was smart because I worked hard, and because of that, I believed everyone had it in them to get the grades I did if they worked as hard as I did. And yes, I received multiple scholarships.
Do I Agree?: Yes and No
Diana’s post states that “when we praise children for their intelligence, we tell them that this is the name of the game: Look smart, don’t risk making mistakes.” This is something I respectively don’t agree with fully. I think parents tell their children they’re smart because 1) they truly believe it and/or 2) they want their children to believe the same. There also needs to be a distinction between praising and complimenting. Why shouldn’t we honestly compliment our children and students for being smart? Everyone likes to feel good and should always feel that way.
Setting up for failure:
When it comes to praise, feedback, and the like, there is a BIG difference between the realistic and the ridiculous. For example:
1) I believe that girls should not be told they’re princesses. I’m not talking about affectionately calling a child a princess (every girl is a princess), but instilling in their heads that they are indeed royalty above everyone else. There has actually been a study done about the negative personality effects of this. I’m sure you can imagine; however, see the “Not every child is the same” section.
2) Students are told at a young age that college will get them anywhere, that a college grad is superior to one who is not, and so on. Yet, when we look at the percentage of unemployed and heavily indebted college grads, what should we think? Yes, college grads should of course be praised, but they must be prepared with a realistic view of the world.
3) Parents need to teach their children that they are not the greatest in the world, that there will be someone out there who is better at something, that they will be competing against many, many other people, and that the only way to be truly successful is honest, hard work. I will never forget the story about a teacher’s graduation speech that discussed these very same topics and the backlash he received from parents who were blind to the reality of the world.
Not every child is the same:
Diana’s post states that praising a child’s smarts can cause stress and pressure. This may be true, but I believe that the way praise and feedback affects a child depends on their personality. Yes, some may feel pressure, while others may just let it roll off their shoulder, and others may take it humbly or to the head. Isn’t the lesson of humility, maturity, and comfort with one’s self all part of growing up and getting older?
I cannot stress the significance of individuality. And what I mean is, not everyone who works hard will receive the same results. This was something I learned the hard way. Before I was an English major, I was in pre-med and no matter hard I studied, cried, and prayed, I got Ds, Cs, and Fs. Up until that point, I always got As because of my hard work. And it took some time to understand that no matter how hard one may try at something, if they’re not good at it, they’re just not good at it. Another way to put it is like this: I have a horrible singing voice. No matter how hard I may try, no matter how many lessons I may take, I will never be able to sing beautifully.
As Diana’s post states, “I absolutely believe in the inherent worth of every individual, and that no child should feel unloved or unworthy – because there is no higher glory than that we bear the very image of God.”
Yes, I do believe that it’s more effective to praise a child’s efforts. I also think that it’s okay to compliment a child on their smarts, being realistic about it and their future. We are all not the same. Not everyone who goes to college is smart, and not everyone who doesn’t go to college is stupid. We are all capable of doing great things…in our own way, in our own time.
Peace and Love,
Quite some time ago, I was nominated for the Sunshine Award by heatherbcosta.wordpress.com. I thank God for this blessing and Heather as well for nominating me! Thank you so much, Heather!
So, one of the rules of this award is to tell you ten things about myself. So, here I go!
1) Xena: Warrior Princess was my favorite show growing up. I’m still huge fan.
2) Sticking with the same theme, Lucy Lawless was my “idol” along with Mel B and Mel C from the Spice Girls and Serena from Sailor Moon.
3) I fell in love with my husband when I was sixteen years old. He’s still my one and only.
4) My favorite color is red.
5) I bawled my eyes out at the ending of 2012’s Les Miserables. Religious themes touch a special place in my heart.
6) My favorite food is an authentic Caribbean beef patty with coca bread.
7) This year I added Cloud Atlas to my list of favorite movies that only includes one other: The Lover, ’91.
8) I learned how to back a car and a commercial truck in a parking space just this year.
9) I tried eggplant, pomegranate, kale, collard greens, and brussel sprouts for the first time this past couple of months.
10) I am currently following the TV series Almost Human. Michael Ealy, if you’re reading this, I think you’re awesome!
Alright, here are ten bloggers that I am nominating for this award:
3) Miss Ananda
Thank you so very much for sticking with me on this journey, and congrats to all the nominees!
Peace and Love,
For those of you who have read my previous posts, or the “About Me” page, you will know that I enjoy watching cartoons like Spongebob Squarepants and some Disney movies. Today, I would like to discuss in list form why I do and what everyone can gain from doing so as well.
1) Along with praying, spending time with my husband, playing golf, and watching sports, it’s a way of allowing my mind to relax and de-stress.
2) Some of these shows/episodes and movies are actually really funny. What I particularly like about Spongebob is that it’s somewhat relatable in that most people know at least one of the following:
A) Someone who is obsessed with money
B) Someone who likes their job waaaay too much
C) Someone who hates their job and/or has a miserable personality and loves nothing more than bringing people down with them
3) The researcher in me loves to analyze these programs and movies. For example, have you ever thought about how much more sinister Disney villains were back in the 90s compared to now (remember Frollo from The Hunchback of Notre Dame)?
4) One can not only learn a lot from cartoons but be reminded of things that many adults tend to forget or not practice. This includes lessons on what it means to be a friend, and what it means to have compassion, kindness, and love for yourself and other people.
Like I mentioned in my post about the theme of history in Kingdom of the Sun, cartoons can be a reminder of how truth is often twisted as well as the power that the media has in general.
5) They sometimes have catchy songs. “Colors of the Wind” anyone?
6) They can be really nostalgic.
7) They remind me to never take life or myself too seriously. They remind me that it’s okay to laugh at things that others may not necessarily see as funny. They remind me that it’s okay to be myself. They remind me of how awesome being a kid at heart can be.
Peace and Love,
This week I was nominated for the Liebster award by College Girl Dai. First, I thank God for blessing me with the art of writing and inspirations to write these posts. Thank you to all my readers, followers, and commenters. I write for you!
The funny thing about this experience is that I have only just realized that there are certain rules to the Liebster award:
“1. You must link back the person who nominated you.
2. You must answer the 10 Liebster questions given to you by the person who nominated you.
3. You must pick 10 bloggers to be nominated for the award with under 200 followers.
4. You must come up with 10 questions for your nominees to answer.
5. You must go to their blogs and notify your nominees. “
Sooo, here I go!:
College Girl Dai’s questions and my answers:
- What led you to creating your blog? I wanted to inspire and teach people about hope, honor, and happiness through my words. I wanted to touch and enlighten my readers.
- What is your favorite tv show(s)? I love Whose Line is it Anyway, and I love watching Japanese Animation.
- What is your favorite store? I love any bookstore. Although, that’s not saying much these days.
- What do you enjoy doing in your free time? Spending time with my husband.
- What is your proudest accomplishment? The completion of my first book.
- What is your dream job/career? Author, writer, wife, and mom all in one.
- If you could go anywhere in the world, all expenses paid where would you chose to go? Japan!
- What is your dream car? One sick sports car.
- Is there a city that you wish you could live in? Probably Kyoto or some quiet city in Japan.
- iPhone or Android? iPhone. Then again, I have never had an Android.
The Ten Blogs that I have Nominated for the Liebster Award
2. Dyan Diamond
Ten Questions for my Nominees
1) Why did you feel the need to start a blog?
2) Sunsets or Sunrises?
3) What is the last good movie that you have seen?
4) How would you describe compassion?
5) What is your favorite animal and why?
6) What is your favorite movie quote?
7) What is your ideal vacation?
8) What was your childhood dream?
9) If you could have a superpower, what would it be and why?
10) Do you enjoying dancing, even if you think you don’t know how?
Whew! That was fun!
To those I have left off the list: you’re still important, which is why I follow you. Thank you again, Everyone.
Peace and Love,